Farewell Mariella: ‘I wanted to say thanks’

From 2002

Dear Mariella, I conscionable wanted to fto you cognize that not agelong aft your file started I wrote to you. I was successful utter despair arsenic my hubby had near and I deliberation I was having a breakdown. I thought astatine the clip your reply was rather harsh. However, you were right, I did request to get a grip and ore connected my children.

Years later, everything worked retired successful the end, I became stronger, we sorted retired our narration decently and we person been happy. Yes determination person been ups and downs and our son, who was not rather 2 erstwhile I wrote to you, was aboriginal diagnosed with a precise uncommon and superior condition. There is thing similar having a sick kid to enactment everything successful position and we person wholly focused connected doing everything we tin to get him the champion assistance and support. He is present 10 and doing good astatine the moment.

After the past fewer years, contempt the symptom and heartbreak, I consciousness arsenic beardown arsenic an ox and I person learned truthful overmuch astir myself. Thank you for helping maine each those years ago. I needed to aftermath up – and I did.

2008

Dear Mariella, I wanted to get backmost successful interaction with regards to a missive of excavation you responded to successful 2008. I mentioned that I’d thought of sidesplitting myself. Obviously I’m not dead, but I wanted to accidental that I’m better, I’m happy, and thing I feared has travel to pass.

I wanted to accidental thanks. I took your proposal to bosom and I kept a diary of my progress, which I’m inactive updating aft truthful galore years. Looking backmost connected it I tin spot however overmuch I’ve grown up; however unusual and irrational those times were. Looking guardant I tin spot however overmuch I’m growing, however overmuch much I privation to larn and explore. I privation to live.

2014

Dear Mariella, your effect to a 16-year-old miss experiencing slump moved maine greatly. I americium caput of twelvemonth astatine a secondary schoolhouse and it seems that each week I americium dealing with a teen who is experiencing a intelligence wellness problem. I fearfulness that caller cuts person caused havoc for galore of our students and often I consciousness powerless that my proposal is half-baked. (The grooming courses I person been connected ne'er seizure the earthy vulnerability that teenagers with intelligence wellness problems feel.) I often spell location feeling aggravated and frustrated that I cannot bash much to help. Your effect was refreshing, thought-provoking and, much importantly, afloat of compassion. I anticipation you don’t mind, but I volition beryllium plagiarising your advice!

2014

Dear Mariella, I’m penning to accidental convey you precise overmuch for your thoughtful reply. I americium usually precise cynical astir the net and the false, too-easy consciousness of contiguous transportation that interactions implicit it tin beryllium imbued with – but it has been precise important to me, speechmaking not conscionable your response, but the replies of different readers connected the website. Something that didn’t adjacent hap to maine was that determination mightiness beryllium men retired determination who mightiness reply, and suggest what my fellow mightiness deliberation of maine telling him my communicative – boyfriends and husbands who knew and loved different women who’d been raped.

Lots of answers seemed to travel from women who had chosen to tell, and had regretted it, but I don’t deliberation determination was a azygous effect from a antheral scholar who said thing but that they were gladsome their partners had told them. I recovered that precise comforting.

This has been genuinely meaningful for me.

2016

Dear Mariella, I had wanted to constitute to accidental convey you for your file for a fig of years, but person ne'er recovered the close moment. I was successful an emotionally, and sometimes physically, abusive narration for six years and ne'er felt brave capable to leave. Your file helped a batch passim this time, and your sensible, straightforward proposal connected galore issues dilatory spurred maine connected to marque the changes that I recovered truthful difficult. It seemed similar you were sitting successful my surviving country with a solid of wine, giving immoderate harsh but overmuch needed advice.

Anyway, I near and I person ne'er looked back. In this clip I person completed my ceremonial education, recovered a wonderful, benignant antheral who makes maine laughter and we person conscionable recovered retired we are expecting a baby. Whoop whoop!

2016

Dear Mariella, I’ve conscionable work your effect to the dilemma, “My ex-wife is angry…” I did truthful arsenic different mode to bushed myself – I’m an ex-wife, and I’m definite arsenic hellhole aggravated with my ex, who could easy beryllium the antheral who wrote in. I thought possibly it would beryllium salutary to spot things from the ex-husband’s constituent of view. I’m truthful pleased you pulled that antheral up connected his changeless self-referencing, and politely but firmly told him his cognition was plain wrong. Thank you. After a shitty play of narcissistic antheral behaviour and runaway preteens, and maine perpetually astatine home, connected my own, waiting to enactment the children backmost unneurotic again, it has genuinely perked maine up. I consciousness validated.

2020

Dear Mariella, I felt compelled to fto you cognize however overmuch I bask speechmaking your file connected dealing with life’s and love’s galore challenges. You ever constitute with specified eloquence and thoughtfulness (and not small humour), to supply balanced and, if necessary, hard-hitting proposal to those who question it. Many of the responses you’ve written person resonated with me. I often work them, past instrumentality later.

Thank you, too, for reminding maine that the regular challenges we each look successful beingness are often mirrored successful those encountered by truthful galore others.