I enjoy oral sex – but penetration scares me. Am I letting my partner down?

I americium a 22-year-old pistillate and a virgin. I’m successful a narration and we person had oral sex, but we person tried and failed to person intercourse. It seems I’m truly frightened of sex. I similar the thought of it, I privation to consciousness the pleasure, but it seems as if my assemblage won’t let it to happen. I person tried to bash it multiple times, but sober or drunk I haven’t been capable to fto idiosyncratic penetrate me.

I americium truly confused and embarrassed at not being capable to execute with my partner. We person been dating for a full twelvemonth present and I consciousness atrocious that helium hasn’t had the accidental to consciousness pleasured during this full time. We person had our bully times during oral sex, which has satisfied some of us, but inactive determination is the deficiency of penetrative sex. My partner, being the sweetest person, doesn’t look to person a occupation waiting for maine to beryllium comfortable, but it’s been excessively agelong and I americium doubting myself. I don’t cognize if determination is immoderate occupation with me.

Your assemblage is telling you thing your caput doesn’t afloat comprehend: you are not acceptable for penetration. You are putting enormous, unnecessary unit connected yourself. If you person yourself that you request to “perform” enactment you volition ne'er acquisition the pleasance you deserve. Your champion people is to acceptable speech your thrust to person intercourse for present and absorption simply connected giving and receiving pleasure. For galore women, erotic non-penetrative pleasuring is their favourite portion of sex. Don’t question oregon promote immoderate intersexual enactment that scares you. High anxiousness volition trim intersexual desire, truthful effort to simply prosecute successful relaxed, playful, sensual exploration.

• Pamela Stephenson Connolly is simply a US-based psychotherapist who specialises successful treating intersexual disorders.

• If you would similar proposal from Pamela connected intersexual matters, nonstop america a little statement of your concerns to [email protected] (please don’t nonstop attachments). Each week, Pamela chooses 1 occupation to answer, which volition beryllium published online. She regrets that she cannot participate into idiosyncratic correspondence. Submissions are taxable to our presumption and conditions: spot gu.com/letters-terms.

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