Please kill the Marvel Cinematic Universe before it’s too late

1 year ago 125

In the 2002 movie “Spider-Man,” Peter Parker’s Uncle Ben told his nephew, “With large powerfulness comes large responsibility.” 

What helium did not dramatically accidental was: “With large powerfulness comes much than 30 films.”

But that unluckily is maniac Marvel Studios caput Kevin Feige’s misguided mentation of the comic publication wisdom. 

“Eternals,” retired Friday, is someway the 26th movie successful the alleged Marvel Cinematic Universe, a Texas-sized web of interconnected superhero features that’s been devouring cinemas since 2008’s “Iron Man.” 

There are 7 much on-screen clones publically announced done 2023’s “Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania” and galore others are said to beryllium successful development, which sounds little similar a program than a threat.

If Marvel continues their Usain Bolt gait of releasing 3 movies a year, by 2029 we’ll person 50 of these things. Stop the madness!

Angelina Jolie successful  The EternalsAngelina Jolie arsenic Thena successful “Eternals”Disney

Yet wherefore would these addicts battalion up store now? Feige and Friends are printing wealth (“Endgame” raked successful astir $2.8 cardinal worldwide) for the Evil Little Mouse, Disney, and crazed fans are inactive slobbering implicit capes and Spandex — if not with the aforesaid strength arsenic they did with “Black Panther” and “Avengers: Endgame,” concisely the highest grossing movie of each clip earlier “Avatar” blew past it. 

 Endgame."Robert Downey Jr. plays Iron Man successful “Avengers: Endgame.”©Walt Disney Co./courtesy Evere

Those 2 films, however, besides marked the franchise’s highest of quality. “Black Panther,” lest we forget, was nominated for Best Picture successful 2019. 

If I were Feige, well, I’d bargain a Greek island. But I besides wouldn’t nonstop my awards-show tux retired to the adust cleaners adjacent year. 

Besides being the flick to surpass the James Bond series’ scant 25 chapters, “Eternals” holds a little illustrious record: It’s the worst reviewed Marvel introduction truthful far. “Nomadland” Oscar victor Chloé Zhao’s movie holds a specified 53 percent connected RottenTomatoes. 

In my reappraisal for The Post, I gave it 1 star. The sleepy dud jumps betwixt so-so and truthful embarrassing. It introduces immoderate 10 bland characters we don’t bask oregon attraction about, but similar our distant cousins successful Wyoming, we person to spot again and again due to the fact that they’re successful the damn family.

Yes, I cognize the caller “Shang-Chi and the Legend of the 10 Rings” was precise good. And “Black Widow” was fine. However — and heavy down you cognize this, Marvel fans — the MCU’s champion days are down it. Before the pandemic, we were being force-fed flavorless Soylent Green similar “Captain Marvel” and “Ant-Man and the Wasp.” And determination volition beryllium much uninspired crapola. So. Much. More.

Brie Larson plays the rubric  quality  successful  "Captain Marvel." Brie Larson plays the rubric quality successful “Captain Marvel.” Walt Disney Co./ Everett Collect

Getting retired erstwhile the going is good, and ensuring a legacy, goes against our modern “more! more! more!” attitude. Instead, we wring retired each past penny from thing until it dies a pathetic death. Over astatine Disney, they’ve turned “Star Wars” into “The Neverending Story” and are forcing Harrison Ford to play Indiana Jones again astatine 79 years old. The feline already looked exhausted erstwhile helium made “Crystal Skull” 13 years agone — but it’s Disney who’s holding the whip now.

It wasn’t ever that way. “Seinfeld” went disconnected the aerial successful 1998 arsenic 1 of TV’s astir fashionable shows. In 2002, tennis subordinate Pete Sampras retired soon aft helium won the US Open. Harper Lee wrote conscionable 1 large caller with “To Kill A Mockingbird” (“Go Set a Watchman” doesn’t count). 

Here’s Uncle Johnny’s advice: There’s existent dignity successful walking distant connected top. Or flying, specified arsenic the lawsuit whitethorn be.