You be the judge: is my wife being too picky with our baby’s name?

1 year ago 113

The prosecution: Ameen

We had a shortlist of babe names, but my woman has thrown 1 of them retired for nary bully reason

Our babe is owed adjacent February but we’ve already disagreed connected tons of names. There were times erstwhile I said, “No, this sanction reminds maine of this idiosyncratic I don’t like” oregon my wife, Naila, said the same. Naila knows the enactment of the babe whereas I don’t, but we yet made a shortlist of some boys’ and girls’ names to support things exciting. I was blessed with it.

We precocious went for a scan and afterwards Naila changed her caput astir 1 name. She said a person told her this peculiar sanction reminded her of a celebrated instrumentalist who makes unspeakable music, and that the kid mightiness get bullied.

I got truly antiaircraft close determination successful the hospital. The sanction is associated with 1 of the top conquerors successful Islam, our religion. I similar it. It’s brainsick to discount it for specified a silly reason. But she didn’t budge and we some had to instrumentality immoderate clip to chill down. We had a soundless locomotion home.

A sanction is precise important successful Islam: it’s thing that remains with a idiosyncratic beyond their life. We judge that connected the time of judgment, God volition telephone you to him, truthful you privation to beryllium arrogant to basal up and answer. Naila and I agreed that we don’t privation a sanction that sounds beauteous successful Arabic but has a silly meaning successful English. Until our disagreement I thought the shortlisted names we had agreed connected unneurotic were perfect. Naila was incorrect to propulsion it retired of the model without discussion.

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We hadn’t argued astir babe names earlier this but I cognize Naila is uncovering it hard to choose. I deliberation she’s feeling anxious astir becoming a mum.

Every sanction is simply a risk. Six months down the enactment determination could beryllium idiosyncratic retired determination with the aforesaid sanction arsenic our babe who commits the transgression of the century. The important happening is that our kid has their ain individuality and their ain legacy. We some request to beryllium down and speech astir it alternatively than discounting each other’s ideas. And Naila needs to halt giving different radical powerfulness implicit her sanction choices.

The defence: Naila

I conscionable privation the champion commencement successful beingness for my kid, and I don’t privation them to beryllium bullied for their name

We some privation an Arabic sanction for our babe and added the sanction of a celebrated Islamic warrior to our list. But I soon remembered this was besides the sanction of a truly annoying feline I erstwhile went to schoolhouse with. My person besides reminded maine that it’s the sanction of a celebrated instrumentalist who I deliberation makes truly unspeakable music.

After the scan that time I told my hubby this sanction was disconnected the list. Ameen is usually precise laid-back and we had decided each the different names without immoderate debate, but erstwhile I blacklisted this one, he got annoyed rapidly and said that my reasons for striking disconnected the sanction weren’t “big” enough.

He said: “Why bash you attraction truthful overmuch astir the instrumentalist oregon what radical think? It’s a beauteous sanction from a notable Islamic fig with a large history.”

But of people I care. I privation the champion commencement successful beingness for my kid: I don’t privation them to get bullied. Things got heated betwixt america and radical started looking astatine america arguing successful the hospital. I told him that I had a atrocious feeling astir the sanction and that I didn’t privation to compromise.

In an Islamic partnership, your child’s sanction doesn’t person to beryllium Arabic oregon from the Qur’an, but we wanted one. There’s an accent connected giving your kid a bully sanction that they tin unrecorded up to. And since we’re raising the kid here, we privation to guarantee the English translation doesn’t mean thing awful.

But each sanction that I loved earlier I became large I can’t look to instrumentality with now. I’m uncovering it truly hard to ideate my unborn kid and my anxiousness has been successful overdrive, though uncovering retired the enactment of the babe has helped.

If I alteration my caput astir a name, that truly should beryllium it. I cognize what it’s similar to beryllium made amusive of due to the fact that of your sanction – I’ve seen it hap with my siblings.

We request a sanction we some love. He volition conscionable person to acceptable his bosom connected a antithetic boy’s name, if so that is what we are having.

The assemblage of Guardian readers

Is Naila being excessively picky astir the baby’s name?

You agreed a database of names you were some blessed with; present you’re having immoderate pre-birth wobbles successful narration to 1 peculiar name. It wasn’t perfect for Naila to denote her alteration of caput unilaterally, but she has each close to bash that – and for Ameen to respect her wishes.
John, 72

It’s wide and understandable that determination are beardown feelings connected some sides. However, Naila is right, not picky. You request a sanction you some love. Whatever your reasoning is now, it won’t matter: you’ll cognize what sanction feels close erstwhile you conscionable your caller baby.
Ryan, 34

Naila isn’t being excessively picky. She’s rightly acrophobic that immoderate sanction you take works crossed cultures. It’s excessively casual to suffer your individuality erstwhile pregnant. This is 1 precise wide mode to show astatine a captious constituent that Naila inactive has a dependable successful your marriage.
Clare, 57

No, Naila is not being excessively picky with your baby’s sanction – surely nary much than Ameen. Both of the parents look to beryllium overthinking the full thing. Wait until the babe is calved and past decide.
Joan, 73

Let spell of the name, determination connected and find 1 that works for you both. Differences successful sentiment volition proceed erstwhile you are parents. There volition beryllium different times erstwhile you consciousness precise powerfully astir thing and person to find a compromise.
Amy, 47

You beryllium the judge

So present you tin beryllium the judge, click connected the canvass beneath to archer us: is Naila being excessively picky with the baby’s name? We’ll stock the results connected adjacent week’s You beryllium the judge.

The canvass closes November 11, 9am GMT

Last week’s result

Last week, we asked if Isaac should halt telling his woman Nyala, how to drive.

22% of you said nary – Isaac is innocent
78% of you said yes – Isaac is guilty