You be the judge: should my boyfriend stop leaving the sponge in the kitchen sink?

1 month ago 12

The prosecution: Mary

Thierry should enactment the sponge connected the side. Leaving it to get damp and smelly is disgusting

I’ve been surviving with my boyfriend, Thierry, for the past 4 years. A twelvemonth into surviving together, we had a treatment astir our housework peeves, and the things we should effort to change. But helium inactive refuses to code 1 of my biggest annoyances.

He ever leaves the sponge successful the descend alternatively of the countertop, wherever it tin dry. He doesn’t deliberation it’s a large woody but I find it some annoying and disgusting. This sponge sits determination each time absorbing soiled water, bits of nutrient and grime, and gets damp and smelly.

Thierry says helium forgets to determination it, but I person asked him truthful galore times. The task falls connected maine constantly. I instrumentality a representation of it each present and then, conscionable to irritate him erstwhile helium denies leaving it successful the sink. I say, “See, I was right.” Of course, helium doesn’t similar that.

When I archetypal brought up the sponge contented 3 years ago, Thierry agreed with maine that leaving it successful the descend was nasty. But since then, it has been a recurring fixture. Obviously it’s hard to alteration your habits overnight, but it has been 4 years since we archetypal moved successful together, truthful Thierry needs to beryllium much conscious of his habit.

I consciousness arsenic if I’ve changed astir of my behaviour that helium recovered annoying. I utilized to permission crumbs connected the room antagonistic and person worked connected that. But I don’t deliberation Thierry has made overmuch of an effort. The sponge is ever successful the sink, getting soiled with germs and nutrient bacteria.

And it conscionable stays there, getting damper and damper, until I announcement it. I accidental this to him and it’s just: “Oh well, it’s a sponge.” But that’s not the point.

We person this competitory mode of arguing, and sometimes erstwhile it’s astir housework, the sponge gets brought up. The sponge has go a weapon. Since moving successful unneurotic I’ve learned to accommodate to surviving with different quality being, and truthful has Thierry. But I’d truly similar him to effort harder with the sponge, due to the fact that it inactive pisses maine off.

The defence: Thierry

We unrecorded successful an orderly, sanitised world. A soiled sponge volition assistance america physique up our immune systems

So yes, I usually permission the sponge successful the descend alternatively of connected the broadside of the woody countertop aft I’ve been successful the kitchen. Guilty arsenic charged.

Mary thinks it’s amended to permission the sponge connected the countertop, but the h2o seeps into the wood and takes disconnected the varnish and it gets discoloured. That’s not an excuse, it’s a fact: a bedewed sponge damages the wood.

But I’ve ne'er near the sponge successful the descend connected purpose. It’s a lapse of attraction or, erstwhile I bash retrieve to enactment the sponge connected the side, it falls backmost successful the sink. I’m definite determination person besides been times erstwhile Mary has near the sponge successful the descend and I’ve been blamed for it. But I conjecture I can’t beryllium that.

A fewer months ago, I really bought a soap crockery for the sponge truthful it had a spot – and to appease Mary. She didn’t notation that successful her relationship of the argument, did she? But it was my idea. It should besides beryllium noted that Mary doesn’t truly cleanable with the sponge similar I do. I usage it to hitch the descend erstwhile I’m done with the cooking oregon washing up. I’ll permission the sponge disinfected and clean. But sometimes I hide to compression it retired and determination it, and truthful it stays damp successful the sink.

But truthful what? It’s a sponge. We unrecorded successful a satellite that’s excessively sanitised. There’s a batch to beryllium said for gathering up our immune systems aft Covid-19. A soiled sponge volition assistance america all. And what quality does it marque whether it goes successful a crockery oregon stays successful the sink?

The sponge is besides emblematic of our relationship. Mary has taken pictures of the sponge successful the descend and sent them to maine successful the past, which I recovered a spot passive-aggressive.

I cognize the sponge happening bothers her, but to maine it is simply a non-issue. Honestly, successful the past twelvemonth I’ve astir apt near it successful the descend possibly 3 times.

I get that successful relationships immoderate things that aren’t a large woody to you mightiness beryllium to your partner. I’ve tried to beryllium much conscious astir the sponge. But I don’t deliberation Mary needs to get truthful worked up astir it, I’m not doing it connected purpose. Overall I’m tidy – and a imagination to unrecorded with.

The assemblage of Guardian readers

Should Thierry halt leaving the sponge successful the sink?

I’m with Thierry. Sponges are disposable; woody surfaces little so. And his soap crockery solution should alteration their continued blessed partnership. That said, I consciousness that they bask this competitory disagreement.
James, 44

I odor a rat: Thierry says helium usually leaves the sponge successful the sink, but aboriginal states that he’s lone near it determination 3 times successful the past year. Get a dishcloth and bent it implicit the pat to adust – spell greenish and ditch the disposable integrative sponge altogether.
Paddie, 31

It’s important for radical surviving unneurotic to respect each other’s favored peeves but Mary does look to beryllium utilizing the sponge arsenic a limb – and taking photos is puerile and petty. Also, Thierry is close astir the satellite often being excessively clean.
Elisabeth, 45

As a lingering home niggle, this is beauteous trifling. Mary seems to beryllium stuck successful the occupation portion Thierry has fixed up connected it. Buy a bumper battalion of sponges and regenerate them much often. Honestly, life’s excessively short.
Rachel, 59

I don’t deliberation it matters if Thierry leaves the sponge successful the descend – possibly it’s amended than leaving it connected a woody surface? The important thing, however, is to regenerate the sponge regularly arsenic they harbour germs, wherever they are kept!
Patricia, 71

Now you beryllium the judge

In our online canvass below, archer us: should Thierry halt leaving the sponge successful the sink?

Last week’s result

We asked whether Abigail should wage much towards the heating bill and halt turning the radiators connected during the day.

??% of you said yes – Abigail is guilty

??% of you said nary – Abigail is not guilty