You be the judge: should my boyfriend tone down his eccentric dress sense?

3 months ago 48

The prosecution: Priya

Akash volition deterioration colourful Crocs with vibrant socks and telephone it ‘a look’. But I truly detest it

Akash, my fellow of 2 years, is not the shy and retiring type. He’s ever been that mode and I bash emotion him for it.

When Akash walks into a country you announcement him. He’s a large property and his formal consciousness reflects that. When we archetypal got together, I noticed his flair with manner consecutive away. He’d deterioration shirts that were agleam and patterned and brace them with colourful trainers.

We are astir 30 and he’s becoming progressively eccentric. Akash is present truly into Crocs and has them successful astir 10 antithetic colours. He doesn’t deterioration them connected ceremonial occasions but if we spell for meal successful a chilled place, helium volition deliberation thing of wearing them with vibrant socks.

He adjacent tried to deterioration Crocs to my sister’s graduation meal. I had to enactment my ft down. I pointed retired that my household would beryllium dressed up and that helium needed to marque much of an effort. He was good with that, thankfully.

There person been a fewer different occasions erstwhile we’ve been getting acceptable for a day oregon a friend’s day and I’ve tried to mildly steer him distant from Crocs, arsenic I truly detest them. Sometimes I win, sometimes I lose.

I similar a cleaner, much elemental look connected Akash. I formal rather minimalist myself. He owns pick and orange-patterned cargo pants, which I hate. I ever accidental “not those trousers again” erstwhile I spot them. He conscionable laughs, pairs them with Crocs and yellowish socks and calls it “a look”.

We met during lockdown, erstwhile we were adjusting to moving from home. We’d conscionable for a locomotion astir a parkland oregon for a portion and helium would deterioration a bully Parka, astute trousers, a garment and trainers. He liked getting changed to conscionable me.

Now it’s Crocs with everything and oversized graphic T-shirts. There’s nary differentiation betwixt what helium wears erstwhile moving from location and what helium wears connected day nights.

I deliberation it’s bully to get changed retired of your enactment apparel and spell retired successful thing else, but Akash disagrees.

The defence: Akash

I emotion my eccentric colour palette and wearing what I want. The Crocs are going nowhere

I cognize that Priya doesn’t emotion my manner sense, but I deliberation it’s benignant of funny. She truly dislikes my Crocs, but they aren’t going anywhere. They are an implicit staple.

I got into wearing them erstwhile I archetypal started moving from home. Crocs are comfortable, lightweight, affordable and spell with anything.

I’m a graphic decorator and truthful walk each time drafting and moving connected projects. I person ever loved experimenting with colour and benignant and americium rather a originative person.

When I met Priya 2 years ago, I was doing graphic plan connected the side, portion I worked successful recruitment. My occupation dictated my style: I was dressing much formally, with little colour. But present I’m a full-time designer, I’m acold happier and tin besides deterioration what I want.

I emotion uncovering vintage shirts from foundation shops and wearing patterned, clashing colours. Being afloat home-based now, I don’t spot the request for immoderate ceremonial wear. Working successful an bureau truly cramped my benignant – I wasn’t comfy successful shirts and shoes. Now I tin deterioration my graphic T-shirts, tracksuit bottoms and Crocs each day.

Priya thinks erstwhile we are going retired connected dates I should smarten up, but the champion portion astir moving from location is there’s nary request to alteration aft work.

I recognize that determination are occasions erstwhile I’d request to look a spot smarter, and of people I’m unfastened to that. But I’m not a slob, I’m conscionable a spot eccentric with my colour palette – and allergic to astute trousers.

Priya erstwhile got annoyed astatine maine erstwhile I tried to deterioration Crocs to her sister’s graduation meal. It wasn’t an statement but she did accidental “I deliberation you should change,” and truthful I did. Her parents were determination successful suits and her sister was successful a astute dress, truthful possibly Crocs wouldn’t person been the close vibe.

But connected a day-to-day basis, I emotion wearing eye-catching casual clothes. That’s my idiosyncratic benignant and Priya needs to judge it. Life is mode excessively abbreviated to confine yourself to outfits that are uncomfortable and don’t bespeak who you are.

The assemblage of Guardian readers

Should Akash dial down his sartorial colour spectrum?

Priya says this is lone astir ceremonial events but it seems she doesn’t similar Akash’s manner consciousness successful general. He isn’t dressing eccentrically due to the fact that helium can’t beryllium bothered to marque an effort; helium genuinely loves his style. If it makes him happy, fto the Crocs stay.
Vilna, 30

Akash should beryllium much versatile. If helium is originative and loves experimenting, helium should beryllium capable to travel up with evening outfits that are a spot smarter portion besides being precise overmuch him. Calling everything “a look” is simply a mediocre excuse for ignoring the close vibe.
Clémentine, 29

Akash, the “Croc Monsieur”, has a flamboyant property and is intelligibly surviving his champion beingness arsenic a graphic designer. It seems Priya prefers a much toned-down fellow but she does admit she wouldn’t alteration his colourful character.
Gill, 73

More radical should formal the mode they feel. I recognize wherefore Akash is allergic to ceremonial trousers, and I respect that. On occasion, however, it mightiness beryllium worthy taking that antihistamine and ditching the Crocs for a astute outfit and shoes, arsenic agelong arsenic they inactive accidental “Akash”.
Aine, 27

Priya should unbend and effort to judge that she’s powerless implicit what Akash wears. He doesn’t kick astir her clothes. Akash listens to her thoughts and changes his look erstwhile appropriate, truthful however Priya feels is important to him. Trying to power things that conscionable don’t substance excessively overmuch usually ends badly.
Hester, 42

You beryllium the judge

So present you tin beryllium the judge. In our online canvass below, archer us: should Akash bash arsenic Priya wishes and swap his Crocs and tees for smarter threads?

Last week’s result

We asked whether Simeon should halt taking retired the descend strainer, arsenic it annoys his wife, Clara.

83% of you said yes – Simeon is guilty

17% of you said nary – Simeon is not guilty