You be the judge: should my girlfriend spend less money on her cats?

1 year ago 130

The prosecution: Rob

Lakshmi spends her entire wage connected the cats, past says she can’t spend to spell connected vacation with me

I deliberation of cats arsenic pets, portion my girlfriend, Lakshmi, refers to them arsenic her “children”. We person Bella, Kiera and Fiona, who are a twelvemonth old. Lakshmi and I usually unrecorded apart, but moved successful unneurotic for the duration of lockdown. I had to determination retired of my location office, arsenic it was turned into the cat’s bedroom. Lakshmi and I are precise antithetic successful our attitudes towards the cats, but her stance affects america both.

Lakshmi volition walk her full month’s wages connected the cats. She has cancelled meal dates, utilizing the wealth to wage for feline nutrient and vet bills. She precocious spent £400 connected a wifi-controlled catflap. When Fiona wasn’t eating normally, Lakshmi erstwhile spent £1,700 connected scans, humor observations and checkups. It turned retired Fiona was constipated. We had to cancel our vacation aft that, arsenic Lakshmi didn’t person capable wealth near to go.

We’ve been unneurotic 5 years and support our finances separate. Lakshmi volition wage for a batch of the feline stuff, and I’ll instrumentality attraction of the quality food. She spends loads connected costly feline nutrient but gets annoyed if I don’t get the cheapest supermarket-brand nutrient for us. I devour inexpensive ham, but the cats person the finest. She besides gets huffy if I constituent retired that 5 regular dishes of adust feline nutrient for 3 cats – arsenic good arsenic other treats – is excessively much. I erstwhile said the cats were getting dense and she didn’t speech to maine for 2 days.

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We divided the outgo of our holidays and going out. Normally this works, but precocious Lakshmi has complained astir having nary money. We privation to person a agelong vacation to observe our five-year day and I’m disquieted that she’ll cancel if immoderate unexpected feline disbursal comes up. She erstwhile astir missed a dentist assignment she’d waited a twelvemonth for due to the fact that Keira had a runny eye.

Lakshmi should halt spending truthful overmuch connected the cats and prioritise her finances. It’s her prime however she spends her money, of course, but I’d similar to cognize she tin wage for her fractional of things if we are making plans together.

The defence: Lakshmi

I consciousness that I person to prioritise my cats’ health, wellbeing and fare implicit my own

Rob’s exaggerating astir maine spending each my wealth connected the cats. But I tin take to unrecorded it up oregon to assistance my cats – and I take the cats. You person to prioritise their health, wellbeing and nutrient earlier your own. Rob complains astir eating inexpensive food, but he’s usually blessed to store astatine Lidl truthful I don’t get wherefore helium cares. I bargain the finest for the cats and the cheapest for us. There’s nary mode I’d springiness the cats low-cost supermarket food. They person lovely, glossy bodies due to the fact that they devour the best.

The clip Fiona wasn’t right, Rob agreed with me. The vet confirmed she wasn’t well, truthful I was right. Rob was conscionable acrophobic astir the money. I’m peculiar astir the cats due to the fact that I erstwhile missed Bella’s atrocious tooth. I had taken her for a checkup and the vet told maine she had a rotten molar, and that she mightiness person been successful symptom for 8 months. I felt truthful guilty.

Now, immoderate I person to wage astatine the vets, I conscionable wage it. Yes, you person the consultation fees, positive the medicine and an other £100 if it’s retired of hours, but I don’t mind. I prevention up. Once, Rob didn’t realise the cat had been bitten successful the tail, and it got infected. Waiting tin marque things worse.

Another time, Keira was blinking loads and Rob said: “Whatever it is, she’s not going to dice from it.” It’s his favourite line. I wanted to instrumentality her to the vet retired of hours, but Rob said to wait. The adjacent day, it turned retired Keira had a scratched cornea and needed oculus drops. Again, I felt blameworthy arsenic we could person gone earlier.

Rob has little of a close to accidental thing astir my cats – they are my responsibility. We unrecorded apart, but walk alternate weekends astatine each other’s houses. Rob is the cat’s “uncle”. He thinks it’s ridiculous that I spent wealth connected physics catflaps but wherefore not?

Rob and I are ever going to disagree. I don’t gain arsenic overmuch arsenic him, truthful I person to measurement things up. I bash request to spell to the dentist’s for a caller crown, but Keira has watery eyes and Fiona mightiness person dermatitis, truthful I’ve delayed it. I tin unrecorded with a atrocious bony but my girls can’t unrecorded with that.

The assemblage of Guardian readers

Should Lakshmi halt spending truthful overmuch wealth connected her cats?

Lakshmi’s feline pampering is wholly bonkers. Their affluent fare whitethorn springiness them glossy bodies, but besides dermatitis, constipation and runny eyes! Were Lakshmi to person to take betwixt Rob and the cats, I’d hazard the cats would triumph paws down.
Emma, 44

Lakshmi tin walk her wealth nevertheless she wants. Rob, connected the different hand, whitethorn privation to consider whether helium wishes to beryllium with a spouse who struggles to spend romanticist activities due to the fact that of her favored obsession.
Lewis, 38

Lakshmi and Rob don’t usually unrecorded unneurotic truthful it is Lakshmi’s determination arsenic to however overmuch she spends connected her cats. However, a consciousness of balance, some successful presumption of attraction for herself and her relationship, seems lacking. Lakshmi could get sick from not taking attraction of herself and thereby fto the cats down.
Cher, 51

Lakshmi’s choices are affecting their relationship. It’s not steadfast to enactment pets supra everything, you person to look aft yourself first. Rob isn’t being unreasonable to inquire for balance, and for his feelings to beryllium considered fairly.
Nick, 41

Lakshmi is an big and has each close to marque decisions relating to her cats adjacent if immoderate of them are extreme. Rob needs to determine whether helium tin unrecorded arsenic (at best) 4th choice, and arsenic a effect Lakshmi whitethorn person to unrecorded with being a azygous feline lady.
Arya, 37

You beryllium the judge

So present you tin beryllium the judge, click connected the canvass beneath to archer us: should Lakshmi walk little wealth connected her cats?

We’ll stock the results connected adjacent week’s You beryllium the judge.

The canvass closes Thursday December 9, 9am GMT

Last week’s result

We asked if Tom should perceive to his spouse Jenny and walk more time with his baby.

2% of you said nary – Tom is innocent
98% of you said yes – Tom is guilty

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